It had happened twice in the span of my first two months at Lamone. Only two months, and I already had two “incidents.” The first one being “The Incident,” the second one being “The Shower Incident.” Both incidents were pervasive, and both became infamous.
However, “The Shower Incident” did not make me infamous. Thankfully. Otherwise I would have made that hole myself, buried myself in it, and drown in my adolescent-itis and pimples: It would be gross and weird, but it would be better, in my opinion, than being defamed. Twice.
“The Shower Incident” made the kid who took my towel infamous. Because I was popular. I was one of the big dogs on campus, with my big brother Jeffrey. And you don’t just mess with the big dogs.
The kid’s name was Joshua Rizen. He came from an extremely wealthy family in Spain. He was rumored to be the twentieth-in-line for the royal throne. His English was fluent and as perfect as I wished my skin was. His skin was smooth as silk. Being a prince had its advantages, and not having Mt. Everest-sized pimples was certainly one of them.
He was popular when he arrived on campus, three days late, in a Ferrari, flanked by bodyguards. More popular than Jeffrey. His arrival was anticipated and whispered about more than anything in the school.
However, after his first week at school, full of bad behavior and mischief, he was demoted to the Bottom Feeders. And after his second week of bad behavior and mischief, he was demoted to the lowest group at Lamone: no group at all.
He had no friends. Only the faculty liked him, for his parents donated copious amounts of money to the school. So in the dorm, and everywhere else on the massive campus, he wreaked havoc on the school. And no teachers did anything about it. Only the students could.
The trap was set: It was four days after “The Shower Incident.” Everyone in the dorm Lamone D crouched behind a wall, waiting for Joshua to come walking up the hill.
We had raced up the hill as soon as classes let out, to wait for the Spanish prince. Water balloons in hand, we waited in silence as he slowly meandered up the hill back to our dorm.
As soon as he rounded the corner, he was too blinded by water balloons to see us. A torrent of water balloons crashed down on the short kid, knocking him over like Godzilla knocks over buildings.
He hit the ground like a brick, making a thud that could cause an earthquake. It felt like a pimple-zombie apocalypse was actually happening. But with giant zombies the size of the pimples on my forehead.
Yet it felt good. And I had learned a lesson by observing the beatdown of Joshua.
Life Lesson #23: Do not mess with the wrong people or things. You are human, and you have boundaries in life. There are some things you should not attempt for your own safety.